19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five dollars,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten dollars!'
"Mom look! I’m a 3D printer!"
"Ugh Tommy, close the door when you poop."
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What do you call a funny mountain? hill-arious
What did the triangle say to the circle? Your pointless!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
What do you call a baby monkey? A Chimp off the old block.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
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