Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights!
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies? a garbage truck.
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
Q: Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling all stuffed up!
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
What do you call a book that's about the brain? A mind reader.
What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?
Their own.
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?
Because it has rust issues!
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Go to BabaMail
