What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Why did the two 4's skip lunch? They already 8 (ate).
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?
None, only babies.
What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A stamp.
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? An offer you can't understand.
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no "Connection".
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
"Did you copy hers?" she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!