Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail.
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
"Did you copy hers?" she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
What four letters will frighten a burglar? O I C U Where does bad light go? To prism!
Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
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