Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What did the sink say to the potty?
You look flushed!
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
How do you drown a Hipster? In the mainstream.
What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A penny.
Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Their making headlines...
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
Where did the computer go to dance? To a disc-o.
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie? It's the one rated Arrrr!
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? a Vel-Crow.
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
Address
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?
None, only babies.
What's taken before you get it? Your picture.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
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