What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
Which is the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks? a Roman Catholic
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? You are to little to smoke!
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant? A. deadant deadant deadant deadant.
A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
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