What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
Address
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Clausterphobic
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A Gummy Bear
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What did the man say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya!
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What's taken before you get it? Your picture.
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
What kind of nut doesn’t like money?
Cash ew.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why did the banana go to the Doctor? Because it was not peeling well
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A water
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
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