On a long-distance train journey, a man and a woman accidentally ended up in the same sleeping cabin. Both were married, but they didn’t know each other. At first it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but since they were very tired, they soon fell asleep. The man slept on the upper berth and the woman on the lower berth. Around 1 a.m., the man woke up because it was cold. He slowly leaned down and woke the woman, saying, “Excuse me, ma’am, sorry to disturb you, but I’m feeling very cold. Could you please take out another blanket from the drawer?” The woman smiled and replied, “I have a better idea. Just for tonight, why don’t we behave like husband and wife?” The man was stunned! With sweets bursting in his mind, he happily said, “Wow! What a great idea! Sure!” The woman immediately said, “Then stop being lazy… go and get your own blanket yourself!” There was a moment of silence… and then the man let out a loud fart.

Eddie woke up in the night and heard a burglar in the house. He ran to the closet with his cellphone and called the police. The police who arrived just in time and arrested the intruder as he was exiting the house with their jewelry and cash. The Next day Eddie went to the police station and asked to speak to the burglar. "You can't do that." said the duty sergeant, "You'll have to wait till he's in court. Why do you want to speak to him?" "Well," said Eddie, "he got into my house and into our bedroom at 2 am without waking up my wife. I've got to know how he did it."

A man and his wife go golfing, and on the 8th hole he shanks the ball into a nearby barn. "Darn it," he says, "I'll have to take a penalty on that ball." "No you don't," his wife says. "If I stand here and hold the barn door open, you should be able to get to the green in two." So she holds the door open, and he takes his swing. The ball hits his wife in the head, killing her instantly. Almost a year to the day passes and it finds the golfer back on the same course, this time playing with a co-worker. As luck would have it, he shanks it again and ends up in the same barn. "Don't worry," says the co-worker, "I can hold the door open and you'll be back on the fairway like that." "Oh no," the golfer says, "I did the exact same thing a year ago with terrible results." "Why? What happened?" the co-worker asks. "I got a 4 over," the golfer says.