With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
There’s no trick in these pants.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."