If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Nice pumpkins!
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
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