How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.