What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."