I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!