Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!