Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.