Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.