I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.