How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.