Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.