Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.