Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.