My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.