Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Cell phones are a static symbol.