How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.