What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards