Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.