Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.