Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.