Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.