Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.