I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.