Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"