Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.