IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?