My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.