I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.