How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".