Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.