You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.