Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.