Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.