Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.