I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.