I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.