My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.