Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".