Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.