Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.