My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.