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Picking Jokes

Puns

A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.

The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.

Computer Puns

When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...

Table Puns

My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.

Banana puns

How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.

Electricity Puns

A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”

Poop Puns

I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.

Turtle Puns

Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.

Thanksgiving Puns

I was picking through the turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but I couldn't find one big enough for my family. I turned to the employee and asked, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
“No, sir," he replied. "They're dead."

Strawberry Puns

On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor

On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.

Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!

Blond Jokes

A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"