Pets Jokes

There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.”

- Jarod Kintz.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Late Night Canine Advice
A woman's dog came in one day in heat and she was concerned about keeping it and her other dog separated. But she had a large house and believed that she could keep the two apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep that night, she heard growling sounds, and rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, unable to disengage (as frequently happens when dogs mate). Unable to separate them, perplexed as to what to do next, and although very late at night, she called her vet. "Yes?", he answered in a b grumpy voice. She proceeded to explain the situation to him. The vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I'll call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and withdraw". "Really, do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked for me."
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
“I probably wouldn’t kill so many houseplants if they could scream for food and water the way my pets and children do.”
— Anonymous
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station