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Marks Jokes

Phone Puns
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
One Liners and Short Jokes
Albert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton decided to play a game of hide and seek.
Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting.
Pascal runs off to hide but Newton takes a chalk and marks a 1m×1m square on the floor and stands in it.
"Ready or not, here I come!" Einstein exclaims while he opens his eyes. He sees Newton standing out in the open and says "Haha, I found you Newton!"
Newton replies "No, you found Pascal."
Hockey Puns
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Ancient Rome Puns
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Lightning Puns
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
Keyboard Puns
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Easter Puns
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure
Eggs marks the spot.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.”

– Joyce Armor.
Animal Puns
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.