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Attempt Jokes

Heart Puns
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
Clever Jokes
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "Can I have a glass of H2O?" The second chemist says, "Can I have a glass of water, too?" The first chemist breaks down in tears — his assassination attempt has failed.
(He didn't say H2O2)
Football Puns
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Furniture Puns
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.
I totally nailed it.
Funny Animal Quotes
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor
Password Puns
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.