My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
Got emotional hearing about the role of tectonic plates in earthquakes. It was really moving.
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
A brief Wellington
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
A baker fell down the stairs with a platter full of cookies.
As they say, that's the way the cookies crumbled.
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
What is the national dish of Sweden?
Swedish.
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.