Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
My wife just threw out our computer, shattering all the glass.
I guess she doesn’t like windows.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
How do cups get their money?
They mug people.
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
A plate of sandwiches walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
What do you call a glass dinosaur?
Pyrex.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.