Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
A brief Wellington
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
For God's sake.
A baker fell down the stairs with a platter full of cookies.
As they say, that's the way the cookies crumbled.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
Almost dropped a plate of Alphabeti Spaghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
I didn't get this "World's Greatest Dad" mug for nothing.
It cost $14.99
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me
I yelled what the Hellmann?!
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.