My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.