minerva mcgonagall actress Jokes

After a terrible cruise shipwreck, famous beauty and actress Scarlett Johansson finds herself alone on a deserted island. Hours pass, and only one other man makes it to the island with her. and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck. They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was, of course. At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learned how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, she took care of him in return, and eventually she started really caring about him. After all, there wasn't anyone else in the island. He eventually built a cabin, had a functioning automatic potable water supply, and all sorts of clever little commodities, all done to make life easier. One night she threw herself at him and they made love. After that, they were for all intents and purposes a couple with an above regular sex life. But for some reason he started drifting away, something was bothering him. And she noticed. "What's wrong?" Scarlett Johansson asked, "Nothing..." the guy would say. She pestered him for a while eventually saying she would do ANYTHING he needed or wanted to make him feel good again, just because she really cared for him a lot, and even if he wasn't asking, she felt it was the least she owed it to him to try. "Really?, you'll do anything I'd like?" "Sure," she said "anything!" "Ok, first i want you to take off you toga and get into this pair of work jeans that somehow washed on the shore." "Ok..." "Now put this shirt on please, but first, "tape" your boobs so they are flat." "Wha... ok, I'd say I'd do anything" she said lovingly. "Oohh, now, take this hat and wear it, but tuck your hair under it." She was kinda confused, but non the less, she wanted to make him happy, so she tucked her hair under the hat. "Now I'd like for you to grab this piece of soot and paint yourself a beard and a mustache." "Ok... if this is what you want..." she muttered. "Now, please, put on these sunglasses, and start walking down the beach I'll catch up to you in a bit," he said a bit excited... She started walking, wondering and doubting herself. She was confused about what had just happened, maybe it wasn't her, maybe it was him? Suddenly, the guy grabs her by her shoulder turns her around and says: "Man! you won't BELIEVE who I've been sleeping with for the past 6 months!"

An important politician was seen moving around with a film actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony. But, being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous affairs with any men. After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's report, which went like this: "Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation. Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background. No one has anything against her character. But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious reputation."