meteo assinie surf Jokes

One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long it’s been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the Scotsman. With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Och - in the name of the wee man is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good scotch?" she asks him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"

A man travels on a ship. Two days in, the ship encounters a storm and drowns. Hanging on weakly to a piece of the mast, he manages to survive and gets washed up on an unknown island. Only problem is, it's so unknown that no ship ever comes near it. 10 years pass on the island, and the survivor has been alone all this time, that is until one day, he suddenly notices an unusual speck in the distance. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. No ship has ever come. As the speck gets closer and closer the man starts to rule out the possibility that it’s a small boat or even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a beautiful blonde woman wearing scuba gear and a wet-suit. She approaches the man, who can’t believe his eyes. She tells him she has a boat nearby, and she just took a swim. The look of the poor man makes her feel a great wave of pity for him. “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” she asks the man. “It’s been 10 years,” he replies. With that, the woman reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a packet of cigarettes. The man takes one, lights it and takes a long drag. “Man, that is good!” he says, sighing in pleasure. “And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of bourbon?” the woman asks. Trembling, the castaway explains that it’s also been 10 years. Sure enough, the woman reaches over, unzips her right sleeve and pulls out a flask. The man opens it and takes a swig. “This is the best day of my life,” he says, grinning. The woman starts unzipping her long zipper that runs down the front of her wetsuit and looks at the man seductively. “Now, how long has it been since you’ve had some real fun?” she asks seductively. With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs. “Dear lord! Don’t tell me you’ve got a game of twister in there!”