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covid Jokes

covid Jokes and more.
Mouth Puns
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
If I Had a Dollar... Jokes
If I had a nickel for every COVID-19 joke I know, I could buy a whole lot of toilet paper.
Travel Quotes
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
Travel Puns
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Corona Virus Jokes
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Kangaroo Puns
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Vaccine Puns
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Spain Puns
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.

So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.