A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.