What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”