I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.