What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key