What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.