What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!