What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!