What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!