What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"