Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!