Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.