What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.