What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'