What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?