What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot