Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap