What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.