What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom.
I was boiling vegetables in the saucepan the other day when my wife went to move it...
I said careful, it’s got a leek in it.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time
A plate of sandwiches walks into a bar. The barman says “we don’t serve food”.
What will a chinese grill use when a wok is too slow
A wun.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.