A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.