Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.