What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
French people give me the crepes.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
French, French Revolution
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.