Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."