A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.